Not just a workout

Some of what I love about my many workouts is they're not just workouts.

(of course, part of what I absolutely love about them is that they are awesome, kickass workouts)

I'm drawn to the sports and activities I am because there's usually a mental and technique component to go along with the physical, and my brain loves nothing more than to be engaged. (Yes, all the more reason for me to visit a meditation class and all the more reason I'm pretty sure I will simply combust on the spot if I do.) I'm also drawn to things that scare me, a little, within reason -- you won't find me going anywhere near skydiving or bungee jumping, and I'm 100% fine with that. But things that scare me kinda sorta, things I'm not sure I can do or I'm pretty sure I can't ... doing those things yields an unbelievable feeling. Stretching, growing, living life lessons in the act of a movement, ever-pushing limits ... love it.

However.

That's the rosy glowy side. When you're doing things that fall into the bucket above, especially when you're doing the things that test your greatest fears and weaknesses, whatever they may be (rowing in bad-chop basin water, doing box jumps when you can almost see and feel yourself falling and cracking body parts, or just movements you lack strength in, where every one is a struggle and you've got 15 or 30 to do ...) ... I guess when you're really testing or pushing yourself in ways that aren't fun or exciting, they're just hard and scary and sucky and frustrating ... and I don't actually know where I'm going with this sentence. What a letdown, right?

I guess it's that in doing those things, perhaps that's where you can learn or grow the most. When you're humbled, when you feel lame & stupid, when you actually want to quit, when your body starts to weaken before your eyes ... yeah. That's kind of how my morning workout went. Not all of that, exactly, but it was so much harder and more devastating than I expected it to feel. It's possible I cried at one point only I couldn't actually tell because I was so sweaty and red-faced and heaving for breath.

I don't know, I don't have a grand conclusion, even though I'd like to. I think it's just seeing that that's where I can learn the most. I can look around me and see how others handle it. I can listen to my coach who says, "Don't feel bad, don't feel sorry for yourself, just do it." (Ignore the stupid Nike echo there, it was real.) I can think about how what makes or breaks those situations is my attitude and my will and my determination and my belief. I guess that's the grand echoing point.

See, it's not just any workout that can give you all that. You see why I'm hooked?