Friday, July 23, 2010

Cycles completing

This post isn't even really going to pretend to be held together.

The end of a workweek again, it's no time for holding anything together. Nor for pretending.

I made it through an almost full-time office workweek. I didn't think at all about flinging myself off a bridge. Not to say it was easy, but it was OK. Interesting. Learning, using lots o my brain again. Remembered the unfun of stress, def something to keep under control. Discovered some beautiful coastline and enjoyed every minute of driving by it. Someday, I may even figure out my way around Marblehead.

But, cycles, completing, that's the point (the loose one). First workweek over, that's one cycle.

After my ... second interview? I happened by a cute little cafe, The Atomic Cafe, used their bathroom to make a desperate change out of suit, heels and nylons (on a 90-plus-degree day), got some heavenly iced tea, a tasty sandwich and managed to only eye delicious-looking cookies (cookies!). But I had no cash on me, only a credit card, and the way it went down, I had no chance to leave a tip. I felt bad. So I promised-in-my-head (the serious, solemn promises) that if I got the job, I would come back and leave a tip involving dollar bills. I remembered my promise earlier this week as I was trying to get home and to a workout, and decided keeping the promise within the first week was what counted.

On my way home today, later than planned, realizing that the debate in my head about which workout to make it to was solely theoretical because I wasn't going to make it home for either, I suddenly remembered the cafe promise. And decided now was the time. There was a flicker of nervousness as I wondered what the chances were of finding it again if I couldn't find my way to the same building each day, then I shrugged off the worry; I still had to try. And pretty much drove straight there.

With wise guidance from the staff, I chose the peanut-butter-cup cookie over the M&M cookie and had my second amazing cookie experience of the past few months. You have to suspend disbelief here, just as you had to when I said this the first time a few months ago, but I had that experience of sinking my teeth into delicious, edible, smooth sand. Cookie sand. Wonderful.

And another cycle was complete.

Drove home in lovely rain, tho kinda pour-y at times. It somehow made it very easy to just be in the moment, each moment of the drive home, without resenting or frustration or anything, just living my life as I was driving home. And I had a little lightbulb that that's some kind of an attitude key to really accepting my new office lifestyle and the commute and anything that might come with it -- it's not something that's interfering with my life, it is my life.

And I arrived home. Another cycle complete.

I started out for a walk only to have the rain come pouring down, and since my current raincoat is, well, pretty crappy (I need a shiny yellow slicker! with ventilation!) I turned back. Read some more, grazed some more. Then really needed some outsiding.

Headed out again, lovely rainy dusky light. Headed for the park right near me. I love that park. Love seeing it through all the seasons. The soft green giant willows sweeping down. All the greens, rain-glistening grass, soft green willows, all the varied greens of surrounding trees and bushes. I walked the little loop (no swinging today), and as that cycle was completing, the rain came beating down again.

And so I headed home. Another cycle complete.

And here it is 9. My bed awaits, along with some rejuvenating cycles there.

Sweet cycles, yourselves....


  1. Suit, heels & nylons? Wow, times have changed, haven't they? A couple weeks ago while still in Seattle I saw a young woman with long blond hair, a long skirt and bare feet crossing the street, and nostalgic Shana moment was had. I've used up my 5 minutes of computer time before I start preparations for Ada's birthday party today skimming your latest blog entries, but still am not sure what your new job is. It sounds like it's going well, but so sorry you have to commute 2 hours a day. Sending you love!

  2. LisaLou! Lovely to hear from you!

    And hey, the dressup business was all about the INTERVIEW, man! I do usually wear skirts to work, but always w/ flipflops.

    There is a coming post about what-all I do with my days, so stay tuned.

    And what country are you in now, anyway?? Happy birthday to Ada!

  3. We're back in St. Lucia. How nice you get to wear flip-flops! And thanks for the info on the job -sounds like there's enough good stuff to balance the dredge of getting to work everyday, and most importantly you can pay your bills.