Or, having a cold on a 90-something day.
Drinking hot "throat coat" tea on a night still so hot I just turned on the bedroom unit a/c and my feet are puffy and red from heat.
Also forgot Aug 31 is National Student Move Day, which made the drive home and through the surrounding student neighborhoods of Allston/Brighton extra fun.
On the brighter side, I've somehow managed to force myself to do some crap I've been putting off, to my high annoyance, including finally finding an Internet company I could get through to and presumably give my money to, which was the barrier blocking me starting to telecommute a few days. Dumb, I know, but sometimes we humans....
Now, to sleep for 100 days and nights, if not 100 years.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Another
Another weekend gone in a blink, with good fun, but too fast gone.
Another night, later than I want to be awake, and another time of my saying that.
Another moment of feeling all that is undone and all that is pressing and all that is needed -- versus what I have done, can do, have the capacity to do.
In other words, another Sunday night.
Another night, later than I want to be awake, and another time of my saying that.
Another moment of feeling all that is undone and all that is pressing and all that is needed -- versus what I have done, can do, have the capacity to do.
In other words, another Sunday night.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Ridiculous fun
This would be the morning's Spartan race.
SO much fun!
A 5k run that went up & down a mountain (at one point, scrambling on my hands & feet was the fastest way up) with 12 obstacles interspersed, including wall & cargo net climbs, mud pits (one with barbed wire stretched above to ensure crawling), a water cannon, bushwacking, jumping over a fire, spear throw, gladiators who tried to block you....
Lotsa fun.
Thought I might have a few fun war wounds, but just some scratches. Apparently heats after mine had to deal with angry bees. Not sorry to miss that.
SO much fun!
A 5k run that went up & down a mountain (at one point, scrambling on my hands & feet was the fastest way up) with 12 obstacles interspersed, including wall & cargo net climbs, mud pits (one with barbed wire stretched above to ensure crawling), a water cannon, bushwacking, jumping over a fire, spear throw, gladiators who tried to block you....
Lotsa fun.
Thought I might have a few fun war wounds, but just some scratches. Apparently heats after mine had to deal with angry bees. Not sorry to miss that.
Friday, August 27, 2010
No bueno!
As in, all this silencio! It's been killing me! I missmissmissMISSmiss my blog baby! That's the longest no-writing stretch since I stared it on that fine November 2 day. Bums me out. That's a full-time job for you, with an hour commute each way. Yep, there it is.
Not that I'm going to spend the whole post moping. It'll just be a theme. The "no time" business, it gets old. Which is why everyone talks about time management all the time. And yet....
Lots of mixed emotions here. Also, I feel the week's dreams hovering, but not really materializing. Maybe when my sleep gets short, it thins the barrier between waking and sleeping worlds. Maybe.
It's been a hard week. Didn't make it to a single workout I'd intended, and that's saying a lot for me. I made a few impromptu ones happen. And I'm trying to be content with that. It's something, just not what I ant, not want I want my life to be like.
Tomorrow is my crazy Spartan Race, so that'll be a ton of fun; I'll plunk down a report here, fear not. And yes, the work stories, they're past due; it's just usually the last thing I want or have energy to do after getting home, I guess. I dunno. Life, sometimes it's like this.
Not that I'm going to spend the whole post moping. It'll just be a theme. The "no time" business, it gets old. Which is why everyone talks about time management all the time. And yet....
Lots of mixed emotions here. Also, I feel the week's dreams hovering, but not really materializing. Maybe when my sleep gets short, it thins the barrier between waking and sleeping worlds. Maybe.
It's been a hard week. Didn't make it to a single workout I'd intended, and that's saying a lot for me. I made a few impromptu ones happen. And I'm trying to be content with that. It's something, just not what I ant, not want I want my life to be like.
Tomorrow is my crazy Spartan Race, so that'll be a ton of fun; I'll plunk down a report here, fear not. And yes, the work stories, they're past due; it's just usually the last thing I want or have energy to do after getting home, I guess. I dunno. Life, sometimes it's like this.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday winddown
Gato time on the couch. There's purring. Shedding. Drooling. Kneading. Staring. Sometimes glaring. But contentedness, generally. It's pretty grand. I think Sucio is now double the size of Willa. sigh.
Out one window it looks to be dusk. The other, still late afternoon.
A Monday draws to a close. I'm grateful for a calm day, even as it looks like it'll heat back up to crazy. But crazy is relative, highly relative.
Mostly, I'm still working to find overarching peace and contentment in a busy working life, and a pretty simple life outside that. It's generally seeming to work, although there are dips. Last week I was just exhausted. So I switched to my "no less than 7 hours' sleep" rule, even if it meant missing a workout or something else. :( Looking to get back to a few early mornings, good workouts, a few down nights.
And that's kind of life! Exciting, no?
Out one window it looks to be dusk. The other, still late afternoon.
A Monday draws to a close. I'm grateful for a calm day, even as it looks like it'll heat back up to crazy. But crazy is relative, highly relative.
Mostly, I'm still working to find overarching peace and contentment in a busy working life, and a pretty simple life outside that. It's generally seeming to work, although there are dips. Last week I was just exhausted. So I switched to my "no less than 7 hours' sleep" rule, even if it meant missing a workout or something else. :( Looking to get back to a few early mornings, good workouts, a few down nights.
And that's kind of life! Exciting, no?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The power of possibility
Friday night I got to witness something amazing. My friend's nonprofit, Mssng Lnks, partnered with Opera Boston and got a grant from the Boston Foundation to create a two-week intensive workshop for urban kids, resulting in a performance at the end. That performance was on Friday (the 13th, no less).
Performances with kids are often sweet, cute, well-intentioned, good growth opportunities, important to support.... But with this performance, three professional opera singers were also involved, and the kids were good, so it was all those things you want to support, but also a fantastic performance.
Titled Bohemian Faces, the performance, loosely based on La Boheme, was held in a space renovated to build community and cultural opportunities in the heart of Roxbury. The cast was made up of 14- to 20-year-olds of varying ethnicities, and the three professional singers were black. In addition to being a great performance with powerful singing, you could feel what it might mean to the audience, perhaps seeing and hearing opera live for the first time, and almost certainly, witnessing for the first time amazing classical performers with voices that blew you away ... and who looked like them.
One of the things I loved so much was not only how good it was artistically, but that it concretely, specifically made our world better, simply for its happening. And who knows what it might ultimately yield, for the kids, for the singers, for the audience, for the community?
Performances with kids are often sweet, cute, well-intentioned, good growth opportunities, important to support.... But with this performance, three professional opera singers were also involved, and the kids were good, so it was all those things you want to support, but also a fantastic performance.
Titled Bohemian Faces, the performance, loosely based on La Boheme, was held in a space renovated to build community and cultural opportunities in the heart of Roxbury. The cast was made up of 14- to 20-year-olds of varying ethnicities, and the three professional singers were black. In addition to being a great performance with powerful singing, you could feel what it might mean to the audience, perhaps seeing and hearing opera live for the first time, and almost certainly, witnessing for the first time amazing classical performers with voices that blew you away ... and who looked like them.
One of the things I loved so much was not only how good it was artistically, but that it concretely, specifically made our world better, simply for its happening. And who knows what it might ultimately yield, for the kids, for the singers, for the audience, for the community?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Still here, still going
Well. This seems to be turning into an all weekender blog! Not my original intent, just my current reality. I'm suddenly noting yet again how distressingly easy it becomes for a habit to fade, even a habit you (well, I) love. So, like anything else in life worth our energy, I'll just keep doing my best.
Made it through four weeks of work, so seems like it'll be survivable. Busy, lots of volume and deadlines, but once I actually know how to do things, hopefully I'll get more efficient. I like the variety of projects I get to work on, and it'll yield good experience.
I've only talked about work in generalities, so I need to do some coloring between the lines. Just not when my bed and I are eager for our reunion -- it's been so long, you know -- a whole day.
On the commuting front, it's looking to be about 10 hours a week in the car, more or less. And I find it's funny how the drive seems to transpire in one of two ways: 1) I notice details in the landscape, both things I've already seen that I enjoy or catch my eye, but also things my eyes will suddenly alight upon for the first time, and sometimes they're quite large things, so I'm left wondering if this thing suddenly sprouted overnight, or if it's been there all along and I've never seen it -- but how could that be possible? I know the answer is the latter, but that's a little freaky, how unobservant we can be to our surroundings. Or, 2) I'm driving in that semi-mindless/zone-y space, where I'm paying attention to my driving, but not really noticing scenery details. I like the first way better, guess it just depends on how sunk into my mind I am. This week I was just tired, tired, so there wasn't a lot of scenery-noticing going on.
Made it through four weeks of work, so seems like it'll be survivable. Busy, lots of volume and deadlines, but once I actually know how to do things, hopefully I'll get more efficient. I like the variety of projects I get to work on, and it'll yield good experience.
I've only talked about work in generalities, so I need to do some coloring between the lines. Just not when my bed and I are eager for our reunion -- it's been so long, you know -- a whole day.
On the commuting front, it's looking to be about 10 hours a week in the car, more or less. And I find it's funny how the drive seems to transpire in one of two ways: 1) I notice details in the landscape, both things I've already seen that I enjoy or catch my eye, but also things my eyes will suddenly alight upon for the first time, and sometimes they're quite large things, so I'm left wondering if this thing suddenly sprouted overnight, or if it's been there all along and I've never seen it -- but how could that be possible? I know the answer is the latter, but that's a little freaky, how unobservant we can be to our surroundings. Or, 2) I'm driving in that semi-mindless/zone-y space, where I'm paying attention to my driving, but not really noticing scenery details. I like the first way better, guess it just depends on how sunk into my mind I am. This week I was just tired, tired, so there wasn't a lot of scenery-noticing going on.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Weekender: Gone, gone, gone
Sad but true.
whooooooosh
That was your weekend! So be it. It was a good one.
Let's see, there was a good workout, not too crazy (and I think I'm wrapping up my week's worth of admiration of all my lovely bruises all over my legs -- particularly lovely, the purple slash bruises on the thighs -- from last weekend's boot camp).
There was some house tidying that managed to take two days -- not exciting, but very key for calm living and non-exploding. There was a sitting in the nearby park and hearing of many stories making up what will be Mr Sam's fabulous wundebar kids' musical next Friday.
There was a driving to Maine. Maine! Visiting a SD friend, enjoying the lovely Maine coast, particularly enjoyable while eating a large chocolate oreo-something ice cream in a cone on the walk back. Particularly while three of us were bent over laughing uncontrollably in the street over ... never mind, you really did have to be there. Let's just say the topic involved getting stuck in a sports bra. Ladies, you know the likes of what we were talking about. And then I fell off the curb. For real. But I was OK. Apart from jarring my already-sore wrist.
Then there was the driving back home and getting low on gas and starting to freak I was going to run out in some dark deserted part of who-knows-where. And then Mobil loomed like a beautiful beacon. Oh, beacons! Part of the lovely Maine seacoast, this amazing lighthouse. So now I really wanna live in a lighthouse. Really. Anyone see any lighthouse caretaker job apps, you send them right to me.
Somewhere in there there was also an interviewing of a fairly amazing college kid for the magazine profile I'm writing (freelancing! yay, freelancing! but oh, guilt freelancing -- my wonderful veterans' project article that is written and not getting pitched, no bueno. how 'bout I correct that this weekend? yes, let's do that. oh, gulp. there's also my precious barely birthed website I haven't gone near. oh. I don't know. time & priorities. brutal.)
Then there was a running of large painful hills, OK, mostly just the one, but it was vast, at the beautiful Blue Hills. My IT band decided one ascent was enough. The others did a second, followed by apparently brutal, steep grassy-slope ascents. But I'll build! More next time! Dammit! But, it was lovely. I also discovered a new pond I will try swimming in. !
Then there was a nice bagel-eating breakfast catchup with a good friend. Unfortunately, I was run-grubby, but was OK til the end when a shower became imperative. Then, shower-kitty-home time (not kitties in the shower, me in the shower). Then, another lovely afternoon catchup chat with another dear friend, spanning grand topics, big & small, then there was finally writing the profile. Yay! It's 60 words too long, and past my bedtime; do I let the magazine editor finish cutting? Hm, maybe.
And there's Monday, ready to poke her cold nose in my warm back. S'OK, not Monday's fault, just her nature. Gonna be a crazy week, several meetings that will immerse me in the copywriting/marketing process, and I'll start getting some direct feedback. Yi. Onward & upward, such is life....
whooooooosh
That was your weekend! So be it. It was a good one.
Let's see, there was a good workout, not too crazy (and I think I'm wrapping up my week's worth of admiration of all my lovely bruises all over my legs -- particularly lovely, the purple slash bruises on the thighs -- from last weekend's boot camp).
There was some house tidying that managed to take two days -- not exciting, but very key for calm living and non-exploding. There was a sitting in the nearby park and hearing of many stories making up what will be Mr Sam's fabulous wundebar kids' musical next Friday.
There was a driving to Maine. Maine! Visiting a SD friend, enjoying the lovely Maine coast, particularly enjoyable while eating a large chocolate oreo-something ice cream in a cone on the walk back. Particularly while three of us were bent over laughing uncontrollably in the street over ... never mind, you really did have to be there. Let's just say the topic involved getting stuck in a sports bra. Ladies, you know the likes of what we were talking about. And then I fell off the curb. For real. But I was OK. Apart from jarring my already-sore wrist.
Then there was the driving back home and getting low on gas and starting to freak I was going to run out in some dark deserted part of who-knows-where. And then Mobil loomed like a beautiful beacon. Oh, beacons! Part of the lovely Maine seacoast, this amazing lighthouse. So now I really wanna live in a lighthouse. Really. Anyone see any lighthouse caretaker job apps, you send them right to me.
Somewhere in there there was also an interviewing of a fairly amazing college kid for the magazine profile I'm writing (freelancing! yay, freelancing! but oh, guilt freelancing -- my wonderful veterans' project article that is written and not getting pitched, no bueno. how 'bout I correct that this weekend? yes, let's do that. oh, gulp. there's also my precious barely birthed website I haven't gone near. oh. I don't know. time & priorities. brutal.)
Then there was a running of large painful hills, OK, mostly just the one, but it was vast, at the beautiful Blue Hills. My IT band decided one ascent was enough. The others did a second, followed by apparently brutal, steep grassy-slope ascents. But I'll build! More next time! Dammit! But, it was lovely. I also discovered a new pond I will try swimming in. !
Then there was a nice bagel-eating breakfast catchup with a good friend. Unfortunately, I was run-grubby, but was OK til the end when a shower became imperative. Then, shower-kitty-home time (not kitties in the shower, me in the shower). Then, another lovely afternoon catchup chat with another dear friend, spanning grand topics, big & small, then there was finally writing the profile. Yay! It's 60 words too long, and past my bedtime; do I let the magazine editor finish cutting? Hm, maybe.
And there's Monday, ready to poke her cold nose in my warm back. S'OK, not Monday's fault, just her nature. Gonna be a crazy week, several meetings that will immerse me in the copywriting/marketing process, and I'll start getting some direct feedback. Yi. Onward & upward, such is life....
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Tin-can tired
If last week's tired left me feeling surreal and zen, this week's left me feeling like a little empty old can. The former would definitely be a preferable form of tired, should you ever have a choice between the two.
But, some semi-sweaty yoga proved, if not rejuvenating, then at least good for a shift, followed by the eating o' veggie burger on the porch -- wave of heat & humidity broke again! -- and then some winding down to bed.
Side note: I'm finally, finally reading The DaVinci Code (altho I'd long thought perhaps I'd be the world's sole holdout) as my evening "stupid read" while stretching my back and turning my brain off. My main take is that it's just pretty badly, clunkily written. Is this a surprise? No, not really. I know it was never held up as a work of literature, but ... I guess I thought it'd be more compelling. But, getting to sleep in til 6-something and spend some minutes reading a book in bed was pretty close to heavenly this morning.
Now, a little house wrangling, a crazy workout, an interview (freelancing, it does live!), a swapping of week's stories, then a trek to Portsmouth. Apparently, even on weekends I can't give up my hourly drives!
But, some semi-sweaty yoga proved, if not rejuvenating, then at least good for a shift, followed by the eating o' veggie burger on the porch -- wave of heat & humidity broke again! -- and then some winding down to bed.
Side note: I'm finally, finally reading The DaVinci Code (altho I'd long thought perhaps I'd be the world's sole holdout) as my evening "stupid read" while stretching my back and turning my brain off. My main take is that it's just pretty badly, clunkily written. Is this a surprise? No, not really. I know it was never held up as a work of literature, but ... I guess I thought it'd be more compelling. But, getting to sleep in til 6-something and spend some minutes reading a book in bed was pretty close to heavenly this morning.
Now, a little house wrangling, a crazy workout, an interview (freelancing, it does live!), a swapping of week's stories, then a trek to Portsmouth. Apparently, even on weekends I can't give up my hourly drives!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Blues + obviousness
Well.
It's nearly Friday.
Past my bedtime.
Etta Baker & Cora Philips are singing Broken Hearted Blues (lovely).
The gatos are ready for bed. Well, really, they're ready for me to quit my job and stay home on the couch with them already, but they'd soon be really sad when their foodbowls went empty.
The obvious statement of the week: Fitting blogging in is hard! And I do so love it. Some days, it simply won't fit. If I have days with some downtime (no p.m. workouts), that's when it'll fit. So you know it's a hard week if no blogging words have popped up!
I have work & commute thoughts floating around, but the one vital thing I've gotta get better at before keeling over is getting enough sleep. Soooooo....
It's nearly Friday.
Past my bedtime.
Etta Baker & Cora Philips are singing Broken Hearted Blues (lovely).
The gatos are ready for bed. Well, really, they're ready for me to quit my job and stay home on the couch with them already, but they'd soon be really sad when their foodbowls went empty.
The obvious statement of the week: Fitting blogging in is hard! And I do so love it. Some days, it simply won't fit. If I have days with some downtime (no p.m. workouts), that's when it'll fit. So you know it's a hard week if no blogging words have popped up!
I have work & commute thoughts floating around, but the one vital thing I've gotta get better at before keeling over is getting enough sleep. Soooooo....
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Weekender: Hammock-like with bruises
Not sure quite how else to explain the juxtaposition.
It was lovely and relaxy and loungey and just oozey good stuff like that. Like a hammock!
And then, there was this nicely intense workout on Sunday, well, following Saturday's -- a workout in the park complete with a tire pull and normal stuff like walking lunges w/ a weightplate overhead and pushups and double-under jumproping and burpees and stuff. But Sunday, Sunday was a free prep for the upcoming Spartan race, so it was a bunch of us broken into three groups based on a run test (I was in the middle, sigh), rotating our way through various activities.
Most of the bruises came from what they simply called, Landing Dock, or just Dock. It consisted of, yep, a landing dock. That you had to get yourself up onto. Ahhhh, now the bruising makes sense, right? The instructor showed us a graceful jump from the ground, landing with both feet on the dock, some, I dunno, 3 or 4 feet up? But I perfected the run-jump-heave-land-on-knees maneuver. Bruises, yep.
I got better. But still needed knee landing. The funnest part was this mini obstacle course that was really pretty easy, so you could tear through it, including a few tunnel crawls (few more shin bruises) and at the end, a very small hurdle that you kinda had to tuck & roll over. After shying away the first time, sorta awkwardly trying the 2nd, I then realized you had to momentum your way into it, so you just bounced on your back and landed back on your feet. So, mini artificial-turf-burn on the back from that.
Yeah, it was really fun. The sun was out, but with the heat wave broken, least it wasn't 90s and humid, but I still felt pretty sun-sapped for the run portions.
So, there's your weekend report -- hammocks and bruises. Fun!
###
Today, the ocean, she was wild. Gorgeous. Wind-whipped blue chop, moored boats rock and rolling, a spray of white as waves crashed against the wall.
Driving in, the sky had these amazing clouds, giving off depth and shadow with pink light seeping around and under.
Good moments. Just trying to live fully and collect them every day.
Tonight, after a quick visit to the nearby park (the kids had all the swings, sigh), while walking home, I overheard a dad with a thick, great Indian accent, shepherding his kids home, saying, "Now, until dinner is done, we can not go visiting any dogs." Greatness.
It was lovely and relaxy and loungey and just oozey good stuff like that. Like a hammock!
And then, there was this nicely intense workout on Sunday, well, following Saturday's -- a workout in the park complete with a tire pull and normal stuff like walking lunges w/ a weightplate overhead and pushups and double-under jumproping and burpees and stuff. But Sunday, Sunday was a free prep for the upcoming Spartan race, so it was a bunch of us broken into three groups based on a run test (I was in the middle, sigh), rotating our way through various activities.
Most of the bruises came from what they simply called, Landing Dock, or just Dock. It consisted of, yep, a landing dock. That you had to get yourself up onto. Ahhhh, now the bruising makes sense, right? The instructor showed us a graceful jump from the ground, landing with both feet on the dock, some, I dunno, 3 or 4 feet up? But I perfected the run-jump-heave-land-on-knees maneuver. Bruises, yep.
I got better. But still needed knee landing. The funnest part was this mini obstacle course that was really pretty easy, so you could tear through it, including a few tunnel crawls (few more shin bruises) and at the end, a very small hurdle that you kinda had to tuck & roll over. After shying away the first time, sorta awkwardly trying the 2nd, I then realized you had to momentum your way into it, so you just bounced on your back and landed back on your feet. So, mini artificial-turf-burn on the back from that.
Yeah, it was really fun. The sun was out, but with the heat wave broken, least it wasn't 90s and humid, but I still felt pretty sun-sapped for the run portions.
So, there's your weekend report -- hammocks and bruises. Fun!
###
Today, the ocean, she was wild. Gorgeous. Wind-whipped blue chop, moored boats rock and rolling, a spray of white as waves crashed against the wall.
Driving in, the sky had these amazing clouds, giving off depth and shadow with pink light seeping around and under.
Good moments. Just trying to live fully and collect them every day.
Tonight, after a quick visit to the nearby park (the kids had all the swings, sigh), while walking home, I overheard a dad with a thick, great Indian accent, shepherding his kids home, saying, "Now, until dinner is done, we can not go visiting any dogs." Greatness.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Time and goodness
My appreciation of weekend has grown exponentially with my number of days worked.
Really, they're simply lovely. Time to be in bed with kitties. Time to read in bed. In the morning. Time to put the house in order, time to lounge. Time for a slow shower. In my own shower. Time to eat from my refrigerator. Time to not worry how long the morning workout's taking, because the day is mine for living.
These are good moments in time.
Not sure what factor gets the greatest credit, but I'm sure enjoying just enjoying. All very mellow, happy, easy.
And, and, our heat wave finally broke! I think it lasted for a few months, I'm not sure, it just became the new reality. But yesterday morning, waking up to cool air was amazing. Today, all my fans are off, my windows open. Stunning. It's comfortable out. Crazy.
In short, life is good. Appreciation is good. Living in the moment of good, ditto.
Really, they're simply lovely. Time to be in bed with kitties. Time to read in bed. In the morning. Time to put the house in order, time to lounge. Time for a slow shower. In my own shower. Time to eat from my refrigerator. Time to not worry how long the morning workout's taking, because the day is mine for living.
These are good moments in time.
Not sure what factor gets the greatest credit, but I'm sure enjoying just enjoying. All very mellow, happy, easy.
And, and, our heat wave finally broke! I think it lasted for a few months, I'm not sure, it just became the new reality. But yesterday morning, waking up to cool air was amazing. Today, all my fans are off, my windows open. Stunning. It's comfortable out. Crazy.
In short, life is good. Appreciation is good. Living in the moment of good, ditto.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Zen via exhuastion?
Being profoundly exhausted can be an interesting state, I'm finding.
Lately, it's been triggering these very Zen-y states where I can wander around and be in awe and appreciation of the world around, noticing the changing lighting toward evening, all the wonderful brick buildings, all the little quirks that make this place what it is. It's kind of like wandering around in a mellow, dazed, smiley, childlike state. Not such a bad thing.
Of course, I can also feel myself on the brink of a cold ... how many times do we (OK, I) need to learn the basic life lessons? Multiple nights of less than seven hours' sleep.... And yet, what would I have given up from the week? Nothing. There's the challenge.
I have raptures to go into from my early morning at Walden, but those will have to wait a little longer.
A wonderful mellow weekend awaits, with a few intense, fun workouts. There will be reading. There will be gato time. There may be a little shopping. And there you go....
Lately, it's been triggering these very Zen-y states where I can wander around and be in awe and appreciation of the world around, noticing the changing lighting toward evening, all the wonderful brick buildings, all the little quirks that make this place what it is. It's kind of like wandering around in a mellow, dazed, smiley, childlike state. Not such a bad thing.
Of course, I can also feel myself on the brink of a cold ... how many times do we (OK, I) need to learn the basic life lessons? Multiple nights of less than seven hours' sleep.... And yet, what would I have given up from the week? Nothing. There's the challenge.
I have raptures to go into from my early morning at Walden, but those will have to wait a little longer.
A wonderful mellow weekend awaits, with a few intense, fun workouts. There will be reading. There will be gato time. There may be a little shopping. And there you go....
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Geez!
I'm alive, but no time, no time, no time!
Must do some blog-time pondering this weekend!
More words, more soon (tired, like I said)....
Must do some blog-time pondering this weekend!
More words, more soon (tired, like I said)....
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Just a blip
Oh, tired. Surviving. Week 2 going well ... I was so excited to actually find a PDF I needed today (OK, with some help). It's the little things in a new place.
Between this working business, trying to fit in my workouts, making time to kiss the gatos who seem bewildered about what's going on :( ... it's a more than full-time life! Talk about boiling things down to their essences, huh? Hello, new life. Nice to meet you.
Also, unrelatedly, I love a place that has workouts called things like "Fight Gone Bad." Love it. It did go bad fast, but then, you knew it was gonna.
It's all I got in me right now....
Between this working business, trying to fit in my workouts, making time to kiss the gatos who seem bewildered about what's going on :( ... it's a more than full-time life! Talk about boiling things down to their essences, huh? Hello, new life. Nice to meet you.
Also, unrelatedly, I love a place that has workouts called things like "Fight Gone Bad." Love it. It did go bad fast, but then, you knew it was gonna.
It's all I got in me right now....
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The Weekender: Not wanting to be over
They go fast, don't they, when the other five days are framed by work? I think I remember this.
Work week No. 2 is a little more daunting than week 1 where you can just be blissfully ignorant. Week 2, you start to get a sense of all the trains, buses and pedi-cabs whizzing around you, but you don't know enough to be effective directing traffic, jumping aboard or most anywhere. Ugh. May be a tricky month. But once all the processes and how-to's are under control, then life will settle and it'll be interesting to see what that life looks like.
Played fully and well today, so that was grand. In addition to outdoor playing, there was a little shopping -- have a whole new casual work wardrobe to build, you know.... The jury is still out on the new dress that might look too much like a maternity dress. It is very comfy (hush). At least it's not pink. And it has funky polka dots on it. Polka dots are awesome. So, we'll see. Oh! Speaking of not-pink, I managed to find the cool orange (just a wee Day Glo, but OK) workout top and returned the little-baby-girl bubblegum pink one ... yay! I just don't think I could've worked out in that ... unless it involved something in a mud pit, that would've been OK.
Now, I need my bed. Hoping for a calm, sane week, for me and for you all....
Work week No. 2 is a little more daunting than week 1 where you can just be blissfully ignorant. Week 2, you start to get a sense of all the trains, buses and pedi-cabs whizzing around you, but you don't know enough to be effective directing traffic, jumping aboard or most anywhere. Ugh. May be a tricky month. But once all the processes and how-to's are under control, then life will settle and it'll be interesting to see what that life looks like.
Played fully and well today, so that was grand. In addition to outdoor playing, there was a little shopping -- have a whole new casual work wardrobe to build, you know.... The jury is still out on the new dress that might look too much like a maternity dress. It is very comfy (hush). At least it's not pink. And it has funky polka dots on it. Polka dots are awesome. So, we'll see. Oh! Speaking of not-pink, I managed to find the cool orange (just a wee Day Glo, but OK) workout top and returned the little-baby-girl bubblegum pink one ... yay! I just don't think I could've worked out in that ... unless it involved something in a mud pit, that would've been OK.
Now, I need my bed. Hoping for a calm, sane week, for me and for you all....
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Not just a workout
Some of what I love about my many workouts is they're not just workouts.
(of course, part of what I absolutely love about them is that they are awesome, kickass workouts)
I'm drawn to the sports and activities I am because there's usually a mental and technique component to go along with the physical, and my brain loves nothing more than to be engaged. (Yes, all the more reason for me to visit a meditation class and all the more reason I'm pretty sure I will simply combust on the spot if I do.) I'm also drawn to things that scare me, a little, within reason -- you won't find me going anywhere near skydiving or bungee jumping, and I'm 100% fine with that. But things that scare me kinda sorta, things I'm not sure I can do or I'm pretty sure I can't ... doing those things yields an unbelievable feeling. Stretching, growing, living life lessons in the act of a movement, ever-pushing limits ... love it.
However.
That's the rosy glowy side. When you're doing things that fall into the bucket above, especially when you're doing the things that test your greatest fears and weaknesses, whatever they may be (rowing in bad-chop basin water, doing box jumps when you can almost see and feel yourself falling and cracking body parts, or just movements you lack strength in, where every one is a struggle and you've got 15 or 30 to do ...) ... I guess when you're really testing or pushing yourself in ways that aren't fun or exciting, they're just hard and scary and sucky and frustrating ... and I don't actually know where I'm going with this sentence. What a letdown, right?
I guess it's that in doing those things, perhaps that's where you can learn or grow the most. When you're humbled, when you feel lame & stupid, when you actually want to quit, when your body starts to weaken before your eyes ... yeah. That's kind of how my morning workout went. Not all of that, exactly, but it was so much harder and more devastating than I expected it to feel. It's possible I cried at one point only I couldn't actually tell because I was so sweaty and red-faced and heaving for breath.
I don't know, I don't have a grand conclusion, even though I'd like to. I think it's just seeing that that's where I can learn the most. I can look around me and see how others handle it. I can listen to my coach who says, "Don't feel bad, don't feel sorry for yourself, just do it." (Ignore the stupid Nike echo there, it was real.) I can think about how what makes or breaks those situations is my attitude and my will and my determination and my belief. I guess that's the grand echoing point.
See, it's not just any workout that can give you all that. You see why I'm hooked?
(of course, part of what I absolutely love about them is that they are awesome, kickass workouts)
I'm drawn to the sports and activities I am because there's usually a mental and technique component to go along with the physical, and my brain loves nothing more than to be engaged. (Yes, all the more reason for me to visit a meditation class and all the more reason I'm pretty sure I will simply combust on the spot if I do.) I'm also drawn to things that scare me, a little, within reason -- you won't find me going anywhere near skydiving or bungee jumping, and I'm 100% fine with that. But things that scare me kinda sorta, things I'm not sure I can do or I'm pretty sure I can't ... doing those things yields an unbelievable feeling. Stretching, growing, living life lessons in the act of a movement, ever-pushing limits ... love it.
However.
That's the rosy glowy side. When you're doing things that fall into the bucket above, especially when you're doing the things that test your greatest fears and weaknesses, whatever they may be (rowing in bad-chop basin water, doing box jumps when you can almost see and feel yourself falling and cracking body parts, or just movements you lack strength in, where every one is a struggle and you've got 15 or 30 to do ...) ... I guess when you're really testing or pushing yourself in ways that aren't fun or exciting, they're just hard and scary and sucky and frustrating ... and I don't actually know where I'm going with this sentence. What a letdown, right?
I guess it's that in doing those things, perhaps that's where you can learn or grow the most. When you're humbled, when you feel lame & stupid, when you actually want to quit, when your body starts to weaken before your eyes ... yeah. That's kind of how my morning workout went. Not all of that, exactly, but it was so much harder and more devastating than I expected it to feel. It's possible I cried at one point only I couldn't actually tell because I was so sweaty and red-faced and heaving for breath.
I don't know, I don't have a grand conclusion, even though I'd like to. I think it's just seeing that that's where I can learn the most. I can look around me and see how others handle it. I can listen to my coach who says, "Don't feel bad, don't feel sorry for yourself, just do it." (Ignore the stupid Nike echo there, it was real.) I can think about how what makes or breaks those situations is my attitude and my will and my determination and my belief. I guess that's the grand echoing point.
See, it's not just any workout that can give you all that. You see why I'm hooked?
Friday, July 23, 2010
Cycles completing
This post isn't even really going to pretend to be held together.
The end of a workweek again, it's no time for holding anything together. Nor for pretending.
I made it through an almost full-time office workweek. I didn't think at all about flinging myself off a bridge. Not to say it was easy, but it was OK. Interesting. Learning, using lots o my brain again. Remembered the unfun of stress, def something to keep under control. Discovered some beautiful coastline and enjoyed every minute of driving by it. Someday, I may even figure out my way around Marblehead.
But, cycles, completing, that's the point (the loose one). First workweek over, that's one cycle.
After my ... second interview? I happened by a cute little cafe, The Atomic Cafe, used their bathroom to make a desperate change out of suit, heels and nylons (on a 90-plus-degree day), got some heavenly iced tea, a tasty sandwich and managed to only eye delicious-looking cookies (cookies!). But I had no cash on me, only a credit card, and the way it went down, I had no chance to leave a tip. I felt bad. So I promised-in-my-head (the serious, solemn promises) that if I got the job, I would come back and leave a tip involving dollar bills. I remembered my promise earlier this week as I was trying to get home and to a workout, and decided keeping the promise within the first week was what counted.
On my way home today, later than planned, realizing that the debate in my head about which workout to make it to was solely theoretical because I wasn't going to make it home for either, I suddenly remembered the cafe promise. And decided now was the time. There was a flicker of nervousness as I wondered what the chances were of finding it again if I couldn't find my way to the same building each day, then I shrugged off the worry; I still had to try. And pretty much drove straight there.
With wise guidance from the staff, I chose the peanut-butter-cup cookie over the M&M cookie and had my second amazing cookie experience of the past few months. You have to suspend disbelief here, just as you had to when I said this the first time a few months ago, but I had that experience of sinking my teeth into delicious, edible, smooth sand. Cookie sand. Wonderful.
And another cycle was complete.
Drove home in lovely rain, tho kinda pour-y at times. It somehow made it very easy to just be in the moment, each moment of the drive home, without resenting or frustration or anything, just living my life as I was driving home. And I had a little lightbulb that that's some kind of an attitude key to really accepting my new office lifestyle and the commute and anything that might come with it -- it's not something that's interfering with my life, it is my life.
And I arrived home. Another cycle complete.
I started out for a walk only to have the rain come pouring down, and since my current raincoat is, well, pretty crappy (I need a shiny yellow slicker! with ventilation!) I turned back. Read some more, grazed some more. Then really needed some outsiding.
Headed out again, lovely rainy dusky light. Headed for the park right near me. I love that park. Love seeing it through all the seasons. The soft green giant willows sweeping down. All the greens, rain-glistening grass, soft green willows, all the varied greens of surrounding trees and bushes. I walked the little loop (no swinging today), and as that cycle was completing, the rain came beating down again.
And so I headed home. Another cycle complete.
And here it is 9. My bed awaits, along with some rejuvenating cycles there.
Sweet cycles, yourselves....
The end of a workweek again, it's no time for holding anything together. Nor for pretending.
I made it through an almost full-time office workweek. I didn't think at all about flinging myself off a bridge. Not to say it was easy, but it was OK. Interesting. Learning, using lots o my brain again. Remembered the unfun of stress, def something to keep under control. Discovered some beautiful coastline and enjoyed every minute of driving by it. Someday, I may even figure out my way around Marblehead.
But, cycles, completing, that's the point (the loose one). First workweek over, that's one cycle.
After my ... second interview? I happened by a cute little cafe, The Atomic Cafe, used their bathroom to make a desperate change out of suit, heels and nylons (on a 90-plus-degree day), got some heavenly iced tea, a tasty sandwich and managed to only eye delicious-looking cookies (cookies!). But I had no cash on me, only a credit card, and the way it went down, I had no chance to leave a tip. I felt bad. So I promised-in-my-head (the serious, solemn promises) that if I got the job, I would come back and leave a tip involving dollar bills. I remembered my promise earlier this week as I was trying to get home and to a workout, and decided keeping the promise within the first week was what counted.
On my way home today, later than planned, realizing that the debate in my head about which workout to make it to was solely theoretical because I wasn't going to make it home for either, I suddenly remembered the cafe promise. And decided now was the time. There was a flicker of nervousness as I wondered what the chances were of finding it again if I couldn't find my way to the same building each day, then I shrugged off the worry; I still had to try. And pretty much drove straight there.
With wise guidance from the staff, I chose the peanut-butter-cup cookie over the M&M cookie and had my second amazing cookie experience of the past few months. You have to suspend disbelief here, just as you had to when I said this the first time a few months ago, but I had that experience of sinking my teeth into delicious, edible, smooth sand. Cookie sand. Wonderful.
And another cycle was complete.
Drove home in lovely rain, tho kinda pour-y at times. It somehow made it very easy to just be in the moment, each moment of the drive home, without resenting or frustration or anything, just living my life as I was driving home. And I had a little lightbulb that that's some kind of an attitude key to really accepting my new office lifestyle and the commute and anything that might come with it -- it's not something that's interfering with my life, it is my life.
And I arrived home. Another cycle complete.
I started out for a walk only to have the rain come pouring down, and since my current raincoat is, well, pretty crappy (I need a shiny yellow slicker! with ventilation!) I turned back. Read some more, grazed some more. Then really needed some outsiding.
Headed out again, lovely rainy dusky light. Headed for the park right near me. I love that park. Love seeing it through all the seasons. The soft green giant willows sweeping down. All the greens, rain-glistening grass, soft green willows, all the varied greens of surrounding trees and bushes. I walked the little loop (no swinging today), and as that cycle was completing, the rain came beating down again.
And so I headed home. Another cycle complete.
And here it is 9. My bed awaits, along with some rejuvenating cycles there.
Sweet cycles, yourselves....
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Still here,
still surviving, but with the working and full-timing and commuting and driving and trafficking and getting losting (seriously, every time in to Marblehead, every time ... by the time I nail it, we'll be moving) and not-enough-sleeping and logisticking and working-out-ing and ... yeah ... sesame crepe eating (amazing, get yourself to Trader Joe's & buy some!) ... well, guess I'm a little busy.
May need to do some shift of blog scheduling, maybe day or two off is during the week, not weekend now. We shall see.
Tomorrow, week 1 in the office ends. Today, the stress started, lots coming at me quickly. It'll be OK, just might be a hectic, brain- & speed-taxing month....
May need to do some shift of blog scheduling, maybe day or two off is during the week, not weekend now. We shall see.
Tomorrow, week 1 in the office ends. Today, the stress started, lots coming at me quickly. It'll be OK, just might be a hectic, brain- & speed-taxing month....
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Day 2: Less head pain
at day's end! Not that I think I've even remotely turned the corner on brain stuffage, oh no. The iceberg hasn't even been fully seen yet. But I'll take less head pain.
Worst part of the commute seems to be on either end, esp my end. The drive up is pretty zippy and nice -- I come along the coast for the last part, and it always makes me happy to see the ocean. One day soon after work, I'm gonna stop and go wading, work clothes and all.
No, the traffic is definitely worst on my end, esp coming home. And for whatever reason, I can't seem to make it straight through Marblehead to my new workplace. No. I must always get lost and turned around first. Probably about the time I get it, we'll be moving -- hello new building in Danvers come fall.
So, all highly new yet, but so far so good....
Worst part of the commute seems to be on either end, esp my end. The drive up is pretty zippy and nice -- I come along the coast for the last part, and it always makes me happy to see the ocean. One day soon after work, I'm gonna stop and go wading, work clothes and all.
No, the traffic is definitely worst on my end, esp coming home. And for whatever reason, I can't seem to make it straight through Marblehead to my new workplace. No. I must always get lost and turned around first. Probably about the time I get it, we'll be moving -- hello new building in Danvers come fall.
So, all highly new yet, but so far so good....
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